Showing posts with label stupid stuff i hear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid stuff i hear. Show all posts

Friday, May 4, 2007

Memo# 29 : Message From Hell!!

I receive a weird SMS today from someone I haven't heard from in a couple of months.
Catching me completely by surprise, I thought the sun was knocked off balance creating confusion among the normal Earth dwellers and we were being invaded by hellspawn

For the subject of the message was only someone completely neurotic could understand.
I warn you dear readers-consisting of the two of you- to not be drinking any liquids at the moment for what you are about to read may shock and leave you dumbfounded.

I present you

Message From Hell's Secretary:
Mary wn i tell u...she lik u...jz play v u n she wn play yr feeling only...n she oso like othr gal...bcz yr $, she jz wn v u...n she gt bf liao.u nt nid scare her
From what I can tell, hell uses a completely different language from what we Earth dwellers use.
Aside that, Hell's Secretary must have failed her TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language) many times coz I completely didn't understand

Is anybody here a competent linguists ? Aside from me who was left dumbfounded.
...
...
...
2 hours later
...
...
According to my research team who are professors in Language of Hell and Retardism ..these are what they deciphered..I shall extract each phrase to better understand the message:

Mary wn i tell u - I think this means.. this is mary's one..i am asserting this is Mary's one to you
she lik u - i think this is .. she lick me..i don't remember being licked by a spawn of the underworld
jz play v u n she wn play yr feeling only- there are many single letters..this is a little hard
hmm..it could mean she is playing her feelings this year (yr)
she oso like othr gal-she's lesbian
bcz yr $- BisCuitZ your dollar ...omg.. a dollar for 1 biscuit?? damn hell's currency is high
she jz wn v u- she likes jazz want we you
n she gt bf liao - and she has a ButterFly
u nt nid scare her - you not need scare her

This is giving me a headache..i still don't understand after numerous attempts to decipher the message.It's a little blur.

I think hell beings would much rather scare me..but I don't remember scaring anyone except a dog..hmm..

So I sent a reply using the best of my abilities to Hell:

Dear Retard..i mean Mary:
I is hepi u is try fnd me, v dn haf gal pal hr, me dn lik ppl bt only **ss*.
I kum in pz nt scare v u,hop bf is eat lots of lif,hop u ejy play v urself and dn lik 2 much stones..v can kutch kutch kota hei..macha?? dei!
v cnfusion : Hilary

So being rest assured my fears of having the Earth taken over my hellspawns, I went back to sleep

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Memo# 25 : iSpy with my lil eye

Something made me squint when I read this..I felt an evil aura
My spider handsome sense were tingling

source:http://www.theinquirer.net/default.aspx?article=39172

Malaysian government sets up Internet spin team

To counter all those Internet lies

By Nick Farrell: Wednesday 25 April 2007, 16:33

MALAYSIA'S INFORMATION ministry is so miffed that people are going on the web and telling porkies about its glorious government that it has hired a team of spinners just to deal with it.

The crack team of spinners will cast an eagle eye on whatever is being said about Malaysia online. If it sees something that the government will not like it will swoop. Deputy Information Minister Chia Kwang Chye said the team will be in and out with a press release in seconds in a bid to tackle what he said was "abuse" of the Internet and online technology.

Chia told the Bernama news agency the spinners will be purely working to disseminate information, explain correct information and counter the misinformation on government policies.

There is currently a bit of a barny going on online, between the Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi and Malaysian bloggers and other Internet users. He says they are spreading slander and gossip, they say he is... not a very good PM. Miffing a Malaysian PM is apparently enough for the entire government to talk about punishment and tighter controls on Internet use in response.

Already two bloggers are also being sued for defamation by the government-linked New Straits Times Press group in an action identified as a government crack-down on freedom of expression.

Fortunately, the new unit will not have the power to arrest bloggers the PR people don't like. There is nothing more evil than a PR who has the power to lock up a reporter who fails to print their press release. Well, other than a reporter who never questions what a company says.



other source:http://www.smh.com.au/news/Technology/Malaysian-govt-to-counter-Internet-lies/2007/04/25/1177459777303.html



Another brilliant jiak pah boh su zo idea from Zamzam a.k.a Information Minister Zainuddin Maidin and ministry of Bu Su Zo lackey Chia Kwang Chye.
This reminded me of a similar incident that happened in Singapore around February


The Straits Times, Feb 3, 2007:
PAP moves to counter criticism of party, Govt in cyberspace
By Li Xueying
THE People's Action Party (PAP) is mounting a quiet counter-insurgency against its online critics.

It has members going into Internet forums and blogs to rebut anti-establishment views and putting up postings anonymously.

Sources told The Straits Times the initiative is driven by two sub-committees of the PAP's 'new media' committee chaired by Manpower Minister Ng Eng Hen.

One sub-committee, co-headed by Minister of State (Education) Lui Tuck Yew and Hong Kah GRC MP Zaqy Mohamad, strategises the campaign.

The other is led by Tanjong Pagar GRC MP Baey Yam Keng and Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC MP Josephine Teo. Called the 'new media capabilities group', it executes the strategies.

Both were set up after last year's General Election. Aside from politicians, some 20 IT-savvy party activists are also involved.

When contacted, Mr Baey declined to give details of the group's activities, but he outlined the broad principles of the initiative.

It was necessary for the PAP to have a voice in cyberspace as there were few in the online community who were pro-establishment, he said.

As such, the committees aim to 'observe how new media is developing and see how we can use the new media as part of the overall media landscape', he added.

'How do we facilitate views that are pro-party and propagate them through the Internet?'

The approach reflects comments by Rear-Admiral (NS) Lui at the PAP's party conference in December. He called on younger activists to put up views 'to moderate the vitriol and balance the skewed comments' on the Internet.

But this can only work if activists are not 'too obvious' about it, Mr Baey said yesterday. Otherwise it comes across as 'propaganda'.

'The identity is not important. It is the message that is important,' he added.

One activist who is involved said that when posting comments on online forums and the feedback boxes of blogs, he does not identify himself as a PAP member.

He tracks popular blogs and forums to 'see if there is anything we can clarify' on hot-button topics such as the impending hike in the Goods and Services Tax.

But he added: 'We don't rebut everything. Sometimes, what is said is fair enough, and we send the feedback on to the committee.'

This latest initiative comes on top of a blog site with posts by 12 MPs born after Singapore's Independence in 1965.

It recognises that more younger Singaporeans are relying on the new media as a main source of information.

An Institute of Policy Studies (IPS) study conducted last year found that younger and better-educated Singaporeans relied on information from the Internet when shaping their voting choices at the last GE.

Among the opposition parties, members and supporters of the Workers' Party, in particular, post regularly on forums online.

But IPS senior research fellow Tan Tarn How wonders about the effectiveness of the PAP's campaign.

He said Internet users who post on forums such as Sammyboy tend not to be interested in 'intellectual debate' and so will not be persuaded by PAP activists anyway.

As for more serious-minded bloggers, he said the views that the activists may put out are already available in the mainstream media.

Source: Straights Time

I see a trend here. The Establishments are sending out their spies to check up on forums and blogs to counter criticism of the government. Now why didn't THEY think of this in the 80' ?
Of course back then the internet wasn't established yet and blogs were but a thing of the future. But people still used to gossip and slander in local kopitiams while playing Chinese Chess in the jalan kaki 5.

If they had used a similar strategy back then, old Ah-Peks who were spying for the government would have went to the pasar..sat down and played Chinese Chess with the neighbourhood ah-peks to get the low down on the real feelings of the constituents while mailing their (remember back then there were no handphones) feedbacks to their masters.

But this begs the question: Who funds these spinners?
I know it won't be them. They are too selfish to take money out from their own pockets..so most probably it would come from taxes...what?..no you say?..they work for free?? no malaysian would work for free..that's a fact.
Look at the Mat Rempits..they proposed to pay them RM50 for each snatch-thief they catch..but the ironic thing is they ARE the snatch thieves.
Sorry..back to my point

The style varies distinctively between Malaysia and Singapore:

Malaysia
  • the team will be in and out with a press release in seconds in a bid to tackle what he said was "abuse" of the Internet and online technology
Singapore
  • It has members going into Internet forums and blogs to rebut anti-establishment views and putting up postings anonymously.
We, Malaysians would broadcast the government views through our pro-government media:RTM while Singaporeans would discreetly post up rebuttals online making for productive debate on dealing with the problem.

Malaysians are more headstrong when it comes to this issue. Some "official" would most probably wave his keris,say unemployed women are to blame for this and communist are behind this.

Ah ha..there's simple logic behind these disappointed feelings that the people are currently feeling that high end officials can't seem to figure out.
Don't disappointment stem from failure?

so :
Premise A
  • The people are not happy
Premise B
  • The people complain and criticize
Conclusion = government doing bad job

I'm just a kid and I can see that =.="
Fools who waste taxpayers money in parliament debating about pointless stuff like women's attire and AF bringing no moral value to the nation brings indiscriminate waste of resource.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Memo# 19 : Wu Liao Conversation with Wu Liao Person

Just a meaningless conversation starter with a 无聊 person

[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
hammy..
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
so how u chasing Stella GIrls nw
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
u live so near
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
i bet u go out to the bus stop and call them in
Stephen says:
cheebye lu
Stephen says:
Don’t say it again
Stephen says:
All go home liao
Stephen says:
What is the time now
Stephen says:
U think they are prostitute
Stephen says:
Stupid
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
haha..all go your home liao ...oo..yalor..nw its 7..night time liao
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
u have "fun" at nite kan
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
your home near their school
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
after school they go ur home..u r the daddy
Stephen says:
ya ho..
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
admit liao
Stephen says:
U booked frm me right?
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
ahahaha..means u admit u have stella girls go ur house lorr
Stephen says:
nt my house u stupid
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
haha..u say liao
[ 夜神月]Uncle Lim--ünđέr18©--男人不坏女人不爱 says:
ur house put all the stella cheap cheap girls
Stephen says:
Only the name list I got
Stephen says:
U don’t dirty my name



Updated:无意to无聊

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Memo# 9 : Who's to blame

If the PAS government says that women are to blame for causing men's sexual arousals and also the root cause why women get raped is because of their dressing

Then here's a question

If a chicken or sheep is raped by a man and the villagers found out
Who does fault lie at?

  • The man for his inability to control his lust
  • or the chicken for being too sexy and strutting it's ass while walking on two legs
So it all lies in the eye of the beholder.
Be he idiotic or intelligent.. you be the judge

FYI- Animal sex (or beastiliaty) is a crime punishable by imprisonment. Animal cruelty.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Memo# 5 : Another idiotic statement from an idiotic minister

I may be a little late with this news because it made headlines 6 days ago.
I think it was before i started my blog.

So, it was reported in the SinChew daily that Malaysian Minister for Tourism, Tengku Adnan provoked women bloggers during International Womens Day nevertheless.

It is quoted
“Bloggers are liars. They use all sort of ways to cheat others. From what I know, out of 10,000 unemployed bloggers, 8,000 are women."

Well for your information , you stupid heck
I can also say that "Politicians are corrupted crooks who abuse their power. From what I know,out of 300 politicians in Malaysia, 80% are men, so according to your "excellency" 's calculation..you are a corrupted crook because you are an imbacile and also a man and a politician.

Memo# 4 : Stupid Ideas by Ministry

Ok..i had this beef with what the gahmen was trying to come up with a few months ago.. and that's the Yourkad if any of you remember.
The whole catch was the YourKad would be given to tourist who visited Malaysia such as how the MyKad functions. The YourKad would include the visitor's ID,picture,Passport,skin colour and even THEIR INCOME.

The whole having their income thing just didnt make sense. I read testimonials stating that the income stated there would allow shop owners to spot out the rich customers and reject the less loaded ones. The whole thing stinks of discrimination..which i might add is a specialty of our Bolehland.
They even have the audacity to suggest a scanner that if a YourKad holder with less money enters the shop, they would give the customers less service compared to someone with more income.

THAT IS JUST DAMN FUCKING RETARDED!!!

After that statement, people started to complain.
And being the stupid politicians they are, lashed out against the critics and said "The YourKad will be put under the O.S.A (Official Security Act) and it's use will be hidden and nobody can reveal it.

But I digressed
That is the last straw.. the O.S.A is supposed to be used to protect secret documents that threatens national security.. The racoons running the Tourism Ministry are just getting more and more dumber.

O ya..back to my point..
Since the YourKad is supposed to show a level of professionalisme to different income groups.. Malaysians themselves are the cheapest kind.
I dont deny we are cheap.
Imagine having this stupid card in other nations..everytime we enter a shop in London..the censor rings and shouts out "Cheap..Cheap..Cheap.." People treat you like lower class scums or completely rejects your presence in their store..talk about embarassing and shameful..

Only in Bolehland

Last year I read somewhere that they would think about banning single Chinese women from China from entering the country because they think all chinese women come here to prostitute themselves. AND THEY HAVE THE FUCKING NERVE TO WORRY WHEN THEY SAW A DROP IN CHINESE TOURIST COMING INTO MALAYSIA AND TRIED TO WOO THEM BACK BY SENDING OUR STUPID MINISTER TO kin(discuss)

Well yesterday i read the newspaper.
Immigration departments were targeting women tourist from China and harassing them because they think all chinese women come here to be involved with vice. The Immigration and police stop chinese women and ask for their passports..even as far as detaining them for 3 days albeit valid documents to show they weren't overstaying.
We have thieves working in the ACA and crooks in our departments

God bless Malaysia

p/s-Buy Sabah Times to see my picture in there..hahaha...

Exemplery Student horr